Hey, Jude
by MaddenedByMercury
Summary: Reid thought he found the love of his life in Charlotte, but one day she leaves without explanation. 29 months later she shows up with a picture of a little boy named Jude, and he finds out why she left. Its about love, and learning to be a dad.
1. Goodbye almost lover

Life was going average. Or, well, what was considered average in Spencer's life.

Spencer Reid wasn't a ladies man. He was so socially awkward, he wouldn't know what to say.

Life was okay, without a significant other. That's why when he saw a pretty girl at the subway, that he desperately wanted an excuse to talk to, he only shrugged it off. He wasn't the type that woman fell hard for anyway. But he kept staring at her. She was short, around 5"3', with long chocolate hair. She glanced at him once, and her eyes were a dark blue. She was holding onto a few text books, anatomy, biology, and health. She had to be a student by the look of it, probably studying to be a nurse. But he looked away when their eyes met, not able to take in her appearance more.

He sat down his satchel as he paid for to renew his metro card. All he felt like doing was getting home, getting undressed, and crawling into his bed. He thanked the lady behind the counter and turned on his heel, walking toward the subway. People were lining up to get on, and Spencer followed suit. He was startled to feel something tapping his shoulder. When he turned, it was almost like a movie, the girl from earlier standing before him.

"You left this, on the desk over there." she said. She was holding his satchel. He never left things, or forgot them. Never. He was so flustered he only stared at her. "Sir?" she cocked her head to the side and great, now she thought he was crazy, or incapable of speech.

"Yeah, sorry." he took it from her outstretched smiled awkwardly. Spencer heard the doors open and people going around them to get on. "Thank you, so much."

"No problem." she said, looking away from his eyes. Neither of them said anything for a moment and the girl gave a small laugh. "Well, goodbye then." she said.

"Yeah, bye." Spencer sputtered. She stepped around him. A touch of adrenaline suddenly hit him and he turned around, following her on. "I'm Spencer, by the way." He winced out how lame he sounded. He stepped on the subway next to her.

But she turned around and smiled. "Charlotte."

It was worth getting on the wrong subway.

* * *

><p>That was six months ago. Things with Charlotte kind of just happened. She had a way to twist words into comforting comments to cause him to open up. She was stubborn, and frustrating and the two frequently found something to argue on. She was beautiful in all ways. She had this way of simplifying the big questions, she was carefree, and blunt about everything. Charlotte was the person he always wanted to be. She had a mind of her own, and marched to the beat of her own drum. Once she wanted something, she was driven and whenever Spencer tried to tell her the realistic improbabilities of what she wanted, she would simply dismiss them.<p>

While she was the person to cross a bridge once she got to it, Spencer was one to want to metaphorically plot out how to cross said bridge in advance. He managed to make her some what more logical while she some what made him start seeing the love in everyone. She was the sunshine when he came home from his dark job.

Spencer, months later, was in his bed reflecting on his luck. However this night the bed was even smaller now that he was sharing it for the first time with a girl. His girl, which is something he had never been able to say. Charlotte was on her side, sleeping. One of his arms were under her head, and the other wrapped around her waist.

He wish he could sleep, but it was impossible while he stared at her bare back and shoulders. His fingers softly trailed her soft, milky skin. Spencer sighed contently and kissed her shoulder. She murmured, beginning to stir. She apparently not as asleep as he thought. "Are you still up?" she asked, her voice drowsy. In response, Spencer kissed her neck, then shoulder, causing her to laugh. She turned to roll over, and Spencer moved his arms so she could situate herself against him, her head on his shoulder and curled up into him.

He held her tightly, not wanting to let go, pressing a chaste kiss her to her temple. She moved her head to look up at him, and Spencer laughed when their eyes met. He was so high on her, he couldn't help it, he was so happy. "God, why must all men be so giddy afterwards?" she teased lightly.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "How many men have you slept with to know that?" he leaned down to kiss her on the lips. This was the best part, kissing her whenever he felt like it. It took him a while to feel comfortable enough to grab her to kiss her.

"More men then I have fingers." she joked, smirking. She kissed his jaw, fingers trailing his skin and leaving a path of fire. It was over quickly, Spencer's first time. He was embarrassed and awkward at first, but she made him feel better, like she always did. "I love you Spencer."

"I love you too Charlie."

Spencer looked out the window, it was winters first snowfall.

After that night, Charlotte was always there; when he woke up, when he went to bed. When got back from a case, she was there on the couch waiting for him. With her, life wasn't facts and statistics, the darkness of cases haunted his mind less. He was able to talk comfortably and carefree, about all of the little things. She would kiss him and fill him with love.

And then she was gone.

It was a day were he came back from Seattle, back from a particularly grueling case. He felt it as soon as he walked in his apartment. She wasn't there on the couch, waiting for him. He sat down his go bag, looking around. "Spencer?" He followed the voice into the kitchen. Charlotte was sitting down at the table. It was a small table, and the chairs didn't match. He bought the second one when Charlotte came around.

She had on tight dark jeans and a tight dark hoodie. She looked like a mess, not put together. Her hair was up sloppily, eyes red and puffy. "What's going on Charlie?" he asked, his voice soft and concerned. "Are you okay?" she looked like a wreck, and Spencer had never once seen her look so vulnerable.

She looked down to her hands and started fiddling with them. "Sit, please." he did so, confused. She took his hands into hers, staring at him with those beautiful blue eyes. "I'm leaving, Spencer."

He raised an eyebrow, confused. Oblivious. "Leaving? Where?"

"Leaving you, Spencer." she croaked, looking away. Her eyes landed on the counter, and he followed her gaze. Their was a large duffel bag. "I couldn't leave while you were away, I couldn't do that to you, it wouldn't be right."

"I don't understand." Spencer admitted, his stomach dropping. What was going on? He couldn't believe what she was saying. They were fine when he left. He felt numb. "Why are you leaving me? What did I do...?"

She looked him in the eye again. "You didn't do a thing, Spencer. I swear to God, I care about you so much." she sounded sincere, Spencer almost believed her. "I don't want to go..." she trailed off quietly. She let go of his hands and stood up, the chair squeaking the only noise in the room as the heavy silence filled it.

"Then don't leave." Spencer said finally. He felt helpless and desperate. All he could think was, _please don't leave me, stay, don't go, I am in love with you, I can't handle you leaving, I can't make it without you_... He wanted to beg her, tell her he didn't know how he could do this cruel thing called life without her.

"I have to." she croaked, tears falling freely from her eyes. and she was shivering. Spencer stood up, the realization hitting him like a train. He was losing her. "Charlotte, please don't go. I don't understand..." he said, using her full name for the first time in a long time.

"I can't change my mind." she sobbed, pulling the duffel bag strap over her head. "I'm sorry." she almost reached out, like she wanted to hug him. She resisted, walking quickly around him and out the door.

She was gone.

Spencer broke down. He tried to call her, but her number was disconnected. She moved out of her apartment. He fell apart at losing her, not knowing why. He chalked it up to just not being good enough. Why would anyone want Spencer Reid?

The rest of his team watched him fall apart. During cases, he would go numb and turned into a robot. He was 100% there mentally, but when a case was done and they got on the plane home, he would shut down. All they could do was watch, he refused to respond to any questions.

They had no idea how much it killed him to wake up without her, or the guilt he felt whenever he slipped up and _laughed_, like he wasn't allowed to laugh at things yet. Life didn't make as much sense since she was gone. But weeks turn to months, months turn into a year or two, and he starts to move one.

Twenty-seven months later, Spencer is at the office on a Thursday night. By now he didn't think about her all the time, he could sometimes go a whole day without thinking about her, until he got into he bed to lie down for the night. They had just got back from a case. He was working on paperwork when his phone started buzzing. It was weird, because the only people that called him were all in the same room as him at that moment, and when he saw the unknown number, he panicked, hoping his mother was okay. "Spencer Reid."

"Hey, it's me." he froze, his heart dropping into his stomach. "Charlotte Reynolds? I don't know if you remember- well of course you do, eidetic memory and all..." she sighed, sounding annoyed. "Never mind. Hey."

"Hey." he breathed, unsure of what to say. What was he supposed to say to the woman he thought he would never talk to again?

"I know this is out of the blue, and you hate me, but I need to talk to you. Its important. Are you busy right now?"

What would anyone do? He _knew_ he loved her, and once he thought he was getting over her, he realized as soon as he heard her voice he knew he wanted to see her. He needed closure if anything, and answers. "Where do you want to meet?"

* * *

><p>Spencer got into the car, his heart beating, face sweating. He didn't know what to suspect.<p>

He had seen all the movies, he knew how it worked; you meet the love of your life, something gets in the way, you overcome it, and the story ends happily. Thats what drove people; love and sex. Everyone wanted someone to love, and have that person to call theirs. But he was going to find out life hardly went the same way as movies, he was going to see that life was unconventional.

Maybe this isn't going to be a romantic love story for him. It was going to turn into a whole different kind of love. He had no idea what he was going to walk into, but what was waiting for him wouldn't even cross his mind. Soon he would be learning to love in a new way, have something to live for he never had before, and he might even learn how to understand and forgive.

Maybe.

...

**Authors note**

First reboot, hardly any different. Please review, it would be swell.


	2. I must confess

_What the hell am I doing here?_

Spencer sat in his car, parked in front of the coffee place Charlotte was at. He suddenly realized that only a tool would be so willing to meet up with his ex after being dumped with no explanation. That made Spencer a tool. A big giant tool. And _wanting_ to go in and see her made him an even bigger tool.

He told himself to leave: he took the keys out of the ignition. He told himself under no circumstance to get out of that car: he did just that. He told himself to get in that car, tell Charlotte to go to hell and never talk to her again: he went inside.

His eyes scanned the room for her. There was a girl in the corner staring out the window in front of her, dazed. She had on dark jeans, a cotton teal form fitting shirt, with matching flat ballet shoes. It was Charlotte, except she had more curves, still as skinny as before. Before she was just skinny, with hardly any curves but they were undeniable now. She looked older mentally somehow. Like she had grown up, even though she had to be only about twenty-two now. Spencer just stood there, staring out how different she looked. How could one person change so much in two years?

She was still painfully beautiful. And for some reason that made him mad.

Spencer took a deep breath, willing his nerves to calm, walking over to her. She jumped when he reached her, looking up at him with the dark blue eyes he had been in love with, dreamed about since she left. "Hey, Spencer. Sit, please." he did so. "I hope you don't mind..." she gestured to the two coffee's at the table. He didn't respond, just took a drink. "You look good, Spencer. And different."

He coughed, clearing his throat. "So do you." he avoided eye contact with her.

"I'm glad you came. I didn't deserve your understanding."

"What's this about Charlotte?" he asked coldly, looking up.

He really looked at her now; she was tired, and by the purple under her eyes it had been quite a while since she slept a whole night, She was nervous, jumpy, and fidgety. She looked drained. Her cell phone was on the table, and she kept glancing at it, as if someone called, she wouldn't let herself miss it.

"You were never one to beat around the bush." he went on.

She sighed, grabbing her purse and digging through it. "I have to tell you, the reason I left..." she trailed off, trying to find the object she needed. She pulled a piece of paper out, and set it in front of him.

A boy, about a year and a half old, with light brown hair and round, bright dark blue eyes, had on a large smile. His hair was a handsome mop on his head. He had on a t-rex shirt, sitting on a swing. Spencer felt a rush of confusion and anger. "Who is this?"

"His name is Jude. He loves dinosaurs, and coloring." she rambled nervously. "He is 18 months... He is my son..." she looked at him through her eye lashes nervously.

Doing the quick math in his head, Spencer felt his throat go dry. She had a son with some guy from around the time they dated. "What does this matter to me?"

"I left because I was pregnant."

"Obviously." he snapped, setting the picture down. "You called me out here to tell me you cheated on me?"

"I didn't cheat on you, stupid." she snapped back.

Spencer's world stopped as realization struck him. "He's mine?" she didn't answer, only nodded. Spencer leaned back, his world stopping.

Spencer looked down to the picture again, staring at it. Charlotte left because she was pregnant, with his child. She went through nine months of pregnancy, labor, and raising a kid all by herself, and the thought never crossed his mind. How could he go two years of not knowing? And she didn't have to do it alone, Spencer would have been there, and in fact he wanted to be. Now she went through all of that with their son, and she didn't give him a choice to be there. How was that fair? So much missed time. Sure, if he had to choose between having a kid or not so suddenly, he would choose not, but the idea of having a kid with Charlotte wouldn't have been the end of the world for him. If anything, on that day she had said goodbye, if instead she had said she was pregnant, he knew he would have been excited. His son was real, very much alive.

Spencer couldn't believe it. It sounded so unreal. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." she said evenly. "Back then, you made it very clear to me that your job always came first-"

"I never said that!" he said loudly, talking over her, coffee long forgotten. A few people at surrounding tables were staring at them.

"-_And_ that you weren't good with kids in the first place, and you certainly didn't seem to like them. You were at the most important part of your career, I couldn't do that to you. Couldn't ruin your life. I couldn't bring you down like that, and I didn't want to hurt you."

"So you decided to leave, pregnant at twenty, and not tell me I created another human being with you?" Spencer shot back. She didn't respond, just took a drink of coffee and blinked tears out of her eyes. It hurt him just as much as it use to to see her cry, but he wasn't going to show that. "Where did you go?"

"I went to Connecticut." she said, avoiding eye contact. "That's where I'm from. I told my mom, and she was dissapointed in me. I briefly considered an abortion." she looked ashamed for a brief second.

"I'm glad you didn't." he said. He resisted the urge to reach out and grab her hand; he was mad at her, he hated her."What made you come back?"

"You." she said. "I knew I had to tell you."

"Two years ago." he said ruefully.

"I need to make it clear to you, I'm not here for money, or child support." she said seriously. "You can forget this whole meeting completely, and never talk to me or think about it again. I am just here so you know he exists. I'm pretty much giving you a out of jail free card." Charlotte almost smiled; she always had the oddest type of humor.

"Of course I want to be there for him." he heard himself say before he could think about it. He couldn't be like his father, he refused. He was going to do everything to be different than William Reid, like he always swore to himself. "You stole a year and a half of his life from me, I can't let more get away." he added coldly.

Charlotte didn't respond. Was snapping at her uncalled for? It wasn't like he could help the anger he had, the confusion. He was pissed she took it upon herself to decide what's right for him. He was his own person, wasn't he? He wasn't sure if he could ever forgive her. "So, you want to meet him I take it?"

"If you will allow me." he said sarcastically. Spencer knew she would only take his rude comments for so long until she started snapping back; it would take a day or two. While she obviously felt guilty and liked she deserved it, she was stubborn and defensive.

She took out a pen and scribbled on a napkin. "This is my address and my number. I live in the apartments near here."

He took it from her, staring at her neat scribbles. "I will call you tomorrow. I have off, so maybe I could..." Spencer trailed off.

"Yeah." she answered for him, grabbing her purse. "Keep the picture. I got to go, the homeless man I left him with said he will sell him if I'm not back by ten."

The oddest sense of humor.

* * *

><p>The next day Spencer woke up, he called Charlotte immediatly. He was to go to where she lived in an hours time.<p>

He showered, shaved, then dressed. He sat at his table and stared at the clock.

Since he had gotten home the night before he couldn't stop staring at the picture she let him keep. Maybe he was biased, but he was an adorable kid. He had Charlottes eyes, and looked a lot like her. But as he looked at Jude, the more Spencer saw himself.

Jude was just at the age where he could recognize people and the role they had in his life. Spencer stayed up most of the night looking through child development. How would he be introduced to Jude? He would be confused for a while, but it wouldn't affect him long term. Would they introduce him as dad?

Spencer thought of this over and over while he drove over. He felt like a drone as he buzzed her apartment and walked up the steps, then to door 209. He knocked, reeling his mind to go blank and relax.

Charlotte answered, looking just as tired as before. "Hello." she said plainly, stepping toward the side. Spencer stepped in awkwardly, looking around. Boxes littered the apartment and there was no furniture. "We just moved in." she explained.

The only response he gave was a twitch of the lips. She sighed. "He in the kitchen, I got a table set up already."

Spencer toed his shoes off, then followed her. She walked into the kitchen. "Jude baby."

A small boy sat at a table, turning his head immediately and looked at Spencer. There was a moment where Spencer felt something he had never understood before, but he fell in love in one millisecond. It was his son. And Spencer had this moment of _holy crap_. He was in awe, he didn't know what to do, forgot how to move. But Jude just looked at him with curious eyes. "Say hi to Spencer." the boy didn't say anything. "Say hi." she repeated.

The boy looked at his mom then to Spencer, smiling shyly. "Hi Jude." Spencer said, grinning.

"Hi." the boy said, then started to giggle and hid his face in his hands. Spencer didn't watch as Charlotte walked around the table to start cleaning of the table, unable to take his eyes away from the boy.

"Would you," Charlotte started, kneeling next to Jude to be eye level with him. "Like to go play at the park."

"Yeah!" Jude said excitedly, kicking his feet. His mother unfastened the buckles on his chair and pulled him out, setting him down. This was the plan, Spencer remembered. They were going to take him to the park, talk, and let him play.

Spencer removed his satchel and dug through it. "I got you something, Jude." out of guilt for not being there, even though _that _fault belonged to Charlotte. Jude looked up excitedly, grabbing the hem of his green shirt. "You like dinosaurs, right?" he asked.

The little boys face lit up. "Din-sore?" he looked to his mom, who had an amused smile. She gave a bigger smile to him.

Spencer pulled out a plush T-rex he had stopped to get the night before. "Here."

"Mine?" he asked, pointing at the toy.

Spencer laughed. "Yeah, its yours."

Jude took the toy from Spencer and hugged it to him, small fingers trailing the glass eye. "Fank 'ou."

After Charlotte gathered her things, they went to a nearby park and sat on one of the many benches while Jude ran off, trying to pull himself onto the swing, holding the T-rex close to him.

Spencer hadn't really said anything to Charlotte yet, most of his attention focused on the boy. Only now did he giver her a closer inspection.

When he had met her, she had three piercings on her lobes, one cartiledge on each ear, her tragus, and two micro-dermals on her sternum. She wasn't like a girl with tattoos and piercings, wearing dark clothes or died her hair funny colors. Now it looked like she had taken out more of her ear piercing but her micro-dermals were still there. "You took out a lot of your piercings." he commented.

She subconsciously touched her ear. "Yeah, out of like ten piercings I took out half. I'm too scared to take these out." she said, lightly touching her cleavage piercings.

"Sternum removals are painful." he quipped. "Especially to take the foot out after your skin has grown around in from the inside.

Charlotte wrinkled her nose. "Yup."

"You probably did it a month after birth." he said. "To fit into the mother role you saw more accurately."

"Mm-hmm." she hummed distractedly, watching as Jude left the swings and try to climb up a slide. "That brain of yours just never shuts down huh?" Spencer turned his gaze away from her, not responding. "So, how are we doing this?" she asked. "I figured you want to be apart of his life, how are you going to do that?"

He sighed. "I don't know, I wasn't really prepared for this." she flinched visibly. "Take it slow I guess. With my job, there really isn't no clear visitations. We just have to plan for times I can see him."

"When I'm not working at the hospital, you can come see him whenever you want." she said, biting her full, bottom lip. "I want him to be use to you, but I don't want to do any of this if you hardly see him. It's too unstable for him."

"I'll be there." Spencer said with determination. "Whenever I have free time."

"Do you want him to call you dad, or Spencer?"

"I don't know Charlotte." he said coldly. "Whatever you want."

He heard her let out a sigh of frustration next to him. He had been waiting until she stopped taking all of his passive aggressive digs. "Thank God you make this so much easier. Honestly, just what would I do without you!" she said sarcastically.

"You could take him away from me for two years." he snapped, looking straight ahead and not at her.

"I tried to explain to you my reasoning." she said. "I know you will never even try to understand why I did it, and I would take it back if I could. But this is the situation you were given so instead of bitching about what a horrible person I am you could deal with what you were given."

"You haven't changed at all." he said. "Even when you are wrong you still get defensive and argue."

"At least I _know_ I'm wrong. Unlike you I try to move on from things like that." Spencer kept his mouth shut. She was so _frustrating_ no matter what he said they would keep arguing.

He had to be honest and say he understood why she did it. But that didn't mean he liked it or would tell her he understood. She would never truly understand how much it had hurt him.

Spencer watched Jude, and suddenly felt better. He had to at least acknowledge that while the situation was messed up, he was happy. For now.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

Thought's? Let me know what you think.


	3. Welcome to the club

Two weeks had passed.

In those two weeks, he had seen Jude as much as he could. The boy was bright, and cheerful. He also had this grin, or smile that could charm anyone into anything. It was almost like he knew how cute he was, and how he had every adult wrapped around his tiny finger.

Jude kept the plush doll Spencer gave him on him almost all the time.

Arguments between Charlotte and Spencer didn't still; they were going at it ferociously often. And when Jude was around it continued with big fake smiles with rude remarks thrown at each other in cheerful voices. They never even argued about something _worth_ arguing about, usually Spencer made an insult toward her and every time he did she would retaliate. Neither could help it.

Spencer met Annie, Charlotte's sister when he came over after two weeks. She was chubbier, with blonde hair, looking much older than Charlotte. She constantly had something to say to Spencer, while Charlotte would always diffuse any situation about two arise.

The daily letters he wrote to his mom conveniently forgot to mention he had a child.

His coworkers noticed him acting distracted. He knew the day he woke up a week later he would tell Hotchner first. On Monday morning.

But now it was Sunday and Spencer was at a table with Jude while he ate. Charlotte gave him a photograph album to look at of Jude's first year while she was bickering with her sister in the other room. Apparently she was trying to help Charlotte unpack the rest of her things, and Charlotte got annoyed easily.

It was a green album, that said **"Babies first year"** on it. Her and Annie left again, and Spencer opened it. The first page had the birth certificate on it, his full name was Jude Edgar Reynolds. Mother was Charlotte Stella-Marie Reynolds, father unlisted.

The first picture was an ultrasound picture. Just a tiny bean in the picture, but it was Jude. Spencer's fingers trailed the edges. His throat went dry and his chest tightened. He knew the sudden feeling to cry was silly, but all he could think was_ why wasn't I there? _

The picture of it was Charlotte, with a small bump. She was sitting cross legged on the floor, both hands protecting the small bump. She was laughing at something, looking away from the camera. She was beautiful.

He flipped through the rest of the ultrasound and baby bump pictures, until he got to one with her in the hospital. She was holding a a small baby wrapped in a blue blanket. Her hair was a mess and she looked exhausted. On the side, she had written _ten hours of labor, alone. Came into my life Septemper 28th, 1 am on th dot. Kicked ASS._ He laughed, then stared at the 'alone' part. What would it be like, going in the hospital all by yourself to give birth?

_That was her choice, _he reminded himself.

The next few pictures were of Jude's first day of life, in the hospital. He had a full head of dark hair when he was born. His eyes were open, and a light blue color. While his hair had lightened up, his eyes had darken, just to match the shade of Charlotte's eyes.

He looked through as the pictures showed him getting older, by minute it seemed. He also found that Charlotte dressed him imbecably at all times, like she had always done to herself before. But now it seemed she didn't try much at all. He hated to admit it, but she looked beautiful still.

Toward the end he noticed several pictures taken on the beach, grey sky and ocean in the background and some snow on the ground. Wisps of hair blew around their faces as the two had large smiles in all of the photos. Spencer felt his stomach clench again. He loved to see Judes smile because it was so familiar to the smile that used to bring him such joy.

"I don't see why you don't get him a hair cut."

A loud sigh followed. "It's not that long."

"Its past his ears."

"Just because you give your boy a buzz cut doesn't mean I have to do the same to mine."

Spencer snorted as the girls walked by the kitchen. Jude looked up, wrinkling his nose and smiling. That's when Annie walked in. "And why is _he_ here anyway." she said as if he wasn't there. She didn't even look at him. With her she carried a box of bowls and cups.

"Lay off." Charlotte said with some venom. She started putting her cups away with some force. "He can be here all he wants."

"I don't see why he would want to- give me that you're doing it wrong." the older sister snatched a cup from Charlotte. Spencer remembered from when they were dating that Annie was a bit of a controlling bully toward Charlotte. She always assured him that it was because she had four kids and was just over stressed. Charlotte pressed her lips together tight, but didn't say anything. "It amazes me that you can mess up and still have things go okay. And with a guy that is always gone, that _hardly _seems stable to Jude."

Charlotte just stared at her sister through narrowed eyes. "Its almost three."

"Oh, yeah." she set the things down. "I'm going to go pick up the kids. Call you later."

"Bye." Charlotte said while her sister picked up her bag and left. As soon as the door closed Charlotte let out a loud frustrated groan.

"Mommy juice?" Jude said.

"You want juice?" she said, a tone of distress in her voice.

"I can get it." Spencer said, standing up. Charlotte and him said nothing to eachother while he tried to find a sippy cup through her cabinets. He couldn't help but feel the need to say something comforting, but reminded himself he was _still mad_ at her, so he let her brood in silence.

"Spencer can I ask a favor?" she said suddenly.

"What is it?"

"I have to take a night shift tonight, so I was wondering if you could maybe possibly take Jude tonight. If not I could just ask my sister."

"Until what time? I have to work."

"Seven in the morning."

"That's fine I can watch him." he said, sitting next to Jude again.

"Really?" she said brightly, looking relieved. "Do you have food and somewhere for him to stay?"

He didn't. "Yeah. Of course."

"Thanks Spencer, this is perfect!"

* * *

><p>Spencer left right away to go buy a little bed, and some kid friendly food. He had to shell out an extra hundred to have the bed delivered right away, and had to think about what kids eat.<p>

Apparently Jude had a sensitive stomach to dairy according to Charlotte, he could have a little but usually she gave him none at all. Apparently the doctors said as he got older he would grow out of it, but as of then she tried to steer clear of that. However he could have soy milk.

He chose simple things, like crackers and applesauce. At home he marveled at how he never had things in his fridge before, he usually ate out when he was home.

His apartment wasn't big either; he had a bedroom, and a bathroom. Shelf space covered half a wall in his living room, and he couldn't even think of how many books were in his room.

It was hours later when he buzzed Charlotte up. The bed was put together in his room, green and blue dinosaur blanket and pillow. He had food and it wasn't until he opened the door that he realized he didn't have toys.

But he would soon find out that she had that covered. He invited her in, a wide awake Jude perched on her hip. "You really don't mind right?"

"Not at all." he said as she let the boy down, who looked around the small apartment with wide eyes. "Hey Jude."

"Tell daddy hi." Charlotte said, looking around the room with an odd expression.

"Hi." Jude said, clinging to his mothers leg.

"Well, here is his bag, everything you need is here." she said, setting it down. "I will stay a bit until he gets settled."

It took about twenty minutes, but Spencer managed to coax Jude to the table and give him some snacks while Charlotte snuck out.

Spencer had never had the chance to learn how to be a father, so he was starting from scratch pretty much.

Jude clung his plush T-rex to his chest as he walked around, taking everything in. Suddenly he found Spencer's keys. "Hm?" he asked, holding them out.

"Those are mine." Spencer said, scratching his arm, and smiling.

Suddenly Jude laughed, holding the keys to his chest. "Mine!" he looked at Spencer expectantly. Catching what was happening, Spencer experimentally reached out and Jude took off like a shot around the couch. "Mine!" he repeated. Spencer laughed and ran after him, grabbed him, through him in the air and caught him. Something his own father has never done but Jude was laughing so hard Spencer did it again, laughing himself.

He didn't understand how he could love someone so much in such a short time but he was filled with it every time he looked at the boy. As Spencer caught him Jude wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him.

Spencer knew he had something to live for.

* * *

><p>Monday came and he had to tell Hotch.<p>

He walked through the bullpens with his face down, fearing that by the look on his face would give him away to the team, which he felt constantly. They knew something happened in his life but no one asked, yet.

He walked straight into Hotch's office, first. Knocking on the door, Hotch looked up. "Can I talk to you privately, sir?"

Hotch nodded. "Of course." he closed the door and sat down in front of Hotch. For a moment, neither said anything. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think so..." he pulled out his wallet, the picture Charlotte had first given him in there. He set it down, picture facing Hotch. "That is Jude. He is eighteen months old, and I found out a few days ago he is my son."

Hotch, the one who always looked serious and composed, looked blown away. He stared from Spencer to the picture, looking at a loss for words. "You have a _son?_"

"I was just as surprised." Spencer laughed without humor. "This is all really new for me. I feel like I can't do this."

Hotch seemed to push away his shock. "I don't know what that situation is like, but when you have to be a dad, it will come easy to you Reid. I know you, and I know you can do this." he almost smiled. "This is a shock, I'm sorry."

"I know it is. And sir, if you mind I want to keep this between us for now."

"Have to tell him eventually." he handed the picture back. "He is a cute kid, Reid. Congratulations." Hotch said, actually smiling. It had to be the first smile Spencer saw since before Haley's death. "And welcome to the daddy club."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

So what do you think so far?


	4. Read authors note its pretty neat

**PLEASE READ. THIS STORY HAS BEEN REWRITTEN AS OF THIS CHAPTER:**

Hi! So I didn't like some things that was happening so I decided to do a rewrite. It is nothing major! Fret not and there will be no further delays; I wanted to rewrite it all at once to avoid confusion. There a some _small _changes:

**-Charlotte does not move in with Reid:** I know, I know, this made some things work better but it was too cliche for me. I didn't want to make things that easy.

**-Some more minor details_: _**Instead of explaining questions later on, which I have a habit on, I went back and did some fixings to pull it together.

**-Jude's age:** Hardly, even. He is about two months younger now I believe, a year and six months old.

**-Story line made more clear_: _**I wanted to make this a struggle for Spencer, and before I felt it wasn't clear. A struggle of being a good dad, and sorting his feelings out. He is supposed to be mad at Charlotte, and he doesn't forgive so easily. This leads me to the next point.

**-Realtionship post-Jude with Spencer and Charlotte is more rocky:** So the way I was writing it, they were kind of on good terms after a while. That doesn't seem so realistic and this makes a better read.

**-Charlotte and her parents**: At first I made the relationship with her mom more rocky than I am toning it down to.

If anyone new is here, pay no attention to this! And for people who have kept up, I advise that you go read the new chapters because they are different, and the plot deepens as of this chapter.

**-Charlotte in general**: They are opposites, and I want to make that more clear. From their differing views and so one.

**-Age clarification:** Alright, Jude was 'concieved' around December first, so he was born early November.

* * *

><p><em>"Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded -with what caution -with what foresight -with what dissimulation I went to work. I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him."<em>"

_Spencer was half whispering softly, half sitting up in his bed, Charlotte draped over his chest. He had both arms securely around her, one of them half protecting her shoulder while his hand combed through her hair. Her head rested beneath his neck, her fingers tracing circles on his pale skin. He was reading her__ A Tell Tale Heart__ by Edgar Allan Poe. Technically, he was repeating it from memory. The room was dark, and they had just had a particularly passionate moment._

_She was quiet and her breathing was slowed. _"_Charlie?_"

"_Hm._" _she hummed sleepily._ "_I'm up._"

_He laughed. _"_Go to sleep._" _her grip tightened on him slightly. _"_You are tired._"

_Charlotte hummed again. _"_M'not._"

"_Yes, you are._" _he whispered in her ear, sounding half amused. She rubbed her eyes._

"_Shut up._"

"_I love you too, Charlie._"

* * *

><p>"Daddy!" Jude growled, giggling uncontrollably.<p>

Spencer laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be playing?" Jude looked at him, having no idea what he was saying. "Go play."

Jude clutched his plush toy to him and bolted off. Suddenly someone was sat next to him. "Sorry I'm late."

"Feels like I've been waiting two years." he quipped bitterly. It had been a month now, and Spencer was hot and cold toward Charlotte, and more often then not he was ice cold. He didn't want to be nice to her, or like her even. But there were moments where he would watch her, and feel like things were the same when it was her and him. But things weren't the same.

"Such a damn pleasure to be around no wonder Jude likes being around you." she said sarcastically, irritation hot in her voice. "Jude! Come on."

Spencer looked up as she stood. "Leaving so soon?"

"As much as I love being around you, which I mean from the bottom of my heart, but I have things to do, Jude lets go!" the little boy looked up and smiled brightly at his mom. Charlotte looked frazzled and irritated. She ran her fingers through her hair and huffed slightly.

"Is everything alight?" he asked, standing up and trying to catch her eye.

She rolled her eyes. "Because you would care, right?" she grabbed Judes bag. "Come on honey, say bye to daddy."

"Bye bye." Jude said, welcoming the hug Spencer gave as he picked him up quickly. He handed Jude over to Charlotte.

"Charlotte, wait-"

"I have to go." she said, then walked off without a word.

What was _that_ about?

* * *

><p>Later the night, after work, Spencer picked up his apartment before his son came over.<p>

Since Charlotte snapped, he had been thinking a lot. Things with Charlotte weren't good, and he was beyond mad at her. But he had to think, maybe the two being cold toward eachother wasn't the best idea. They had to be partners, and attacking her all the time maybe wasn't the best idea. So when she stopped by later, he planned to talk to her.

When she arrived, Spencer took a deep breath as he opened the door, and did not expect to find her in a mid thigh length, tight, teasingly revealing black dress. Her hair was up slightly, bangs pushed out of her face. "Wow."

She ducked her head and walked around him. "I will come back to get him before eleven."

Spencer closed the door. "You have a date?"

"Something like that." she said neutrally, going to get Jude settled in.

He ignored the pit in his stomach. "Something like that." she didn't respond. "Charlotte, can I talk to you."

She glanced at Jude and nodded. He led her into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. She leaned on the counter across from him, hand on her hips. "What is it?"

Spencer sighed, shifting his feet. "I haven't been that nice to you, because I guess I haven't stopped being mad at you. But I have been pretty... Pretty cold towards you and I'm sorry. I want to make more of an effort with being partners. I know you have a date, but can we just talk...?"

Her whole face softened as she looked at him with round, big, bright eyes. Stunning, as always. "I have time." she responded.

For a moment, Spencer debated on what to say. Truth was the anger toward her was ebbing, and that was what made him so much more hostile toward her. He was more angry at himself for feeling forgiveness. They had so many good times, just why? "I can't understand why you left."

"I told you why." she almost whispered.

"I still don't understand." he said, trying not to snap at her again. "Why didn't you just tell me? I would have stayed, I would have been there."

"It was stupid and impulsive. I know it was a mistake, but I panicked. Having a baby, with a person meant being tied down, and I... I don't even know anymore. I shouldn't have left, but I was trying to figure out us... If what we had was... Special. If we would work out, if I even wanted it to work out."

"It was special to me." Spencer said, quietly. "I was willing to go the distance for you. You having my baby wouldn't have been the end of the world..." she stared at him, both having a feeling and neither knew what it was exactly. What did the want to say, and did they want to say it? "But I can't help that, our story finished for good that night." This was it, this was his closure. Finally, he could move on from her, even if she was there and he didn't want to, and the thought of him knowing he could finally do so was killing him. Was it killing her too? "I have to be there, for Jude though. I can't be like my dad, Charlotte I refuse."

She was silent, a hurt look in her face. "I'm sorry, Spencer. He is here now, we just have to work with what we got. I regret taking that first year from you, and ruining what we had." she looked away from his eyes, staring at the mug. Spencer didn't know what to say.

Yes he did, he wanted to ask if they had a shot of being them again, but the answer was no.

"I hurt you in so many ways, what I did was..." he eyes flickered down. "I was wrong. I would take it back if I could. Do you think you could ever forgive me?"

Spencer didn't answer at first, all sorts of thoughts creeping into his mind. He liked watching her with Jude, he hated to admit. Her in his life again caused all sorts of contradicting feelings in him, all of them too big to understand at one time. It wasn't fair, he thought he loved her at one point and now he wanted to hate her. She was beautiful, still carefree. He had missed her so bad it hurt, and she waltzed back into his life.

Would he forgive her? He thought of Jude, her son, their son. How could he hate the human being who carried and took care of their beautiful child? He never hated her, he couldn't. But he was still angry, she took Jude away. But the reasons had made sense to her at the time. She was always impulsive, and he knew if one day things got too solid for her she would bolt, and thats exactly what would happen.

Thats why they held off sex for six months, if she was rushed and things became permanent looking she would be terrified and run.

But he made himself promise that when she got back, they had to talk, he would be civil with her. They had to be partners. "Maybe, one day."

She looked at a watch on her wrist. "I have to leave."

He nodded and followed her to the door, opening it for her. "Have fun on your date."

She paused in the doorway, smirking. "Its not a date. The hospital has a fundraiser dinner tonight." she waved and walked away.

He didn't know what reason he was so annoyed with himself was; if he was relieved it wasn't a date, or that he watched her walk away in her tight black dress longer then he should have.

* * *

><p><em>The men with the plaid shirt sat down at one of the tables. He searched the room for the wench.<em>

_And right on cue, the girl with dark hair and blue eyes walked in, wearing her hair up and a small black dress. Whore. She smiled and greeted some other useless women. _

_He took a drink of his scotch, zerioing in on his target. She was wearing a large smile, but she still looked tired. _

_The man had to admit, it was exilerating; the watching her, she had no idea either. That thought alone failed to arose him. He just wanted to wrap his fingers around her neck at that moment- but no, he had to wait. _

_Soon._

* * *

><p>Later that night, Spencer was at his kitchen table while Jude was passed out on the couch. Spencer was just looking through the picture albums Charlotte leant him. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he called out, hoping she could here and hoping Jude couldn't.<p>

The door opened and he heard as Charlottes heels clicked on the floor and she walked into the kitchen. He heard an amused chuckle. "I look so pregnant in that." she said as if the fact made her self conscious.

He looked over his shoulder at her. "Don't be silly, you look fine. Glowing, right?" She laughed, her face flushing, then came to sit next to him. "How was it?"

"Fun." she said, leaning against her hand and looking at the album. "I'm exhausted though." she looked up at him through her eye lashes. "Did he give you any trouble."

"No he was an angel." he said. His eyes casted down, and a stream of red caught his eye. "Are- Are you okay? You're bleeding."

She looked at her hands. "Where?"

"Your-" he chocked on his words. "Your, right there." she looked down at her microdermals and swore.

"Jude tore one of them the other day, its been healing. Do you have a bandaid?"

He nodded, standing up and getting a wet washcloth. "Here." he handed it to her and searched for a bandaid. Charlotte struggled to get the bleeding to clot but eventually put the bandaid on. He watched, that same love he felt two years ago showing signs again.

Maybe forgiveness wouldn't be so hard.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

Next chapter will be up soon, and will deal with the his team and mother finding out. And who is the man with the plaid jacket and what is his deal? Who knows! I'm just a tease. Reviews are lovely.

And so I have a question, by the way; Who side would you take? Or, can you possibly see where Charlotte is coming from in her side of the arguement, and can you see why Spencer was upset?

And how do you like the new reboot?


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